Apple A Day Keeps the Evil Dictator Away

So I was some monk like dude in this Kingdom. I lived in a walled off city without a name ruled by an evil dictator king like dude.


So I assume I'm some monk like guy because I'm wearing one of those brown robes and I have a big walking stick. Maybe I was a poor wizard? I don't know, but I was out in the field with my friend (no idea who he is) when we see soldiers ride escorting a carriage with a prisoner. I get a glimpse and it's a uber hottie. I feel bad and wonder why she's being taken away.

So I pretend to be delivering food to the prison and get inside. All I have are apples. I don't know where I got this sack of apples but that's what I got. So I go in there and find her. She's really the princess of the kingdom who has been in hiding since the evil dictator king dude took over. He finally found her and plans to force her to be his 8th queen (he has 7 wives so far and I guess he can since he's the king?). She asks me to help her escape to her Uncle in Valdara who can protect her. And damn me for being a sucker for damsels in distress...grr.

So anyways, I beat the guards using my sack of apples and steal the keys. I open the cell door and sneak her out of the prison into the gardens. We're running to the back entrance (heh...rear door...)

But that is when the alarms start going off. I tell her to run to the western bridge and hide underneath. And I give her the apples to eat. I tell her I will meet her there at 3pm but now I have to go back and made sure I'm not found missing or they will know right away. So I head back and act like nothing happened and I was in the orchard the whole time. But then they realize I have no apples with me and drag me off to prison. The guard later ID me as the one who beat them up with apples and I'm scheduled to be executed. Once the time of my execution arrives, I'm dragged out into the open where I will be stabbed to death with a sword...weee...

I defiantly curse the evil king and say how one day he will face justice. And then I'm stabbed. As I lay there bleeding, I hear trumpets. And then I see banners charging and it's the princess' uncle's army coming to retake the land. She made it home without my help. Huzzah! I think I died with a smile.